Tuesday, April 14, 2009

This is my cousin, he's African.

OK, so me and Angie are gonna go out. We have planned it all week. We are going to Bubbaz and we are gonna take FULL advantage of their $2 u call it drink specials.

We are dressed, at her house, having some Ho Juice (recipe to follow) and her phone rings. It's her friend W. and he wants to come check her out for a minute. She hasn't seen him in awhile so she tells him sure.."But I am going out so don't be trying to stay all night..."

Well, W. gets there and he has his cousin with him. I was in the bathroom touching up my hair and makeup because, as all women know, alcohol in your system makes you look way shittier than you did BEFORE you started drinking....this is the level just before BEER GOGGLES, when EVERYONE looks great.

So annnyway, I come out of the bathroom, magically restored to my pre-drinking appearance, and BOOM. There he is. 6'1'', nice teeth, bedroom eyes, nice haircut...sort of built like my baby daddy, Will Smith.

He is ENAMORED. IMMEDIATELY. I know that the last minute restoration trip to the bathroom was worth it because this guy is eating me up with his eyes..and I have had enough Ho Juice to let him. LMAO@me.

We get introduced and everyone sits down at the table.

Man, this guy is funny. He is Chris Tucker style funny. I am diggin what he is puttin down. After talking for a while, Angie is shocked to discover that he is African, from Nigeria.

Angie thinks all Africans are as dark as burnt toast. She thinks they all have thick French accents, wear mismatched clothes slathered with way too much Drakkar cologne.


Hubba hubba. This guy is suave. He doesn't speak French (ha ha Angie) but does speak a language that is native to his tribe, Abua. But he has lived in Chicago for many years and so he has almost no accent.

We all decide to play cards and then W. proceeds to try and talk Angie and I into staying home. I was cool with it, but she wasn't having it.

Cousin was ready and willing to go "wherever she's going". She being me. Heee. W. took some work but eventually was willing to go play a few games of pool.

So we ride up to Bubbaz and after a brief stint in the parking lot in which W. had to blow chunks...we went in and got a pool table.

Cousin is a really, really nice guy. Plus he is hot. We played pool, had a few drinks then went back to Angie's.

We get to Angie's and her code for the garage won't work. She doesn't have her house keys with her. WTF? How do you NOT take your keys. Angie asks if anyone can get in with a credit card. Huh?? So Cousin takes the credit card...does a little felonious appearing manuever and WHA-LAH! we are in the house.

I'm like "Uhhh Angie, he just broke into your house..." no one seemed to be concerned.

Of course a night out with me and Angie cannot be a night out without some form of drama...Angie and W. were watching TV in her room and Cousin and I were talking about bands and music when there was a loud obnoxious knock on the door.

I go to the door and say LOUDLY "Whose knocking on the door like the damn po-lice?!" I look out the peep whole and to my surprise...IT WAS THE PO-LICE!

Officer Panties ina Wad tells me there has been a "noise complaint". I'm like, huh? We JUST got home and the only thing on is the TV. So she tells me to "turn it down" and I can "Leave the door open" while she waits. Wow. Are you serious?? So I turn the TV off and apologize (for what I don't know) and she leaves.

I spent the better part of the rest of the evening talking to The African Cousin who also happens to be able to sing very well, too.

I gave him my number and he has called me twice so far. LOL each time with his very Chris Tucker-like greeting of "Whatchooo doin gurrrrl?" and "You know I like you guuuurl"

Hmmmm...very very interesting indeed.


1 shot hundred proof Vodka
2 shots Apple Vodka
equal amount of Cranberry juice
1 shot of Red Bull
mixed well over ice

1 comment:

  1. keep your standards WAY WAY up. And not just with the teeth thing!!!!!!